Being a woman of multiple personalities is a true adventure. And this is nothing but another episode of wanting love but I don't want to be loved all at the same time. One side will be completely at ease while the other side, Shareena,is about to die from being deprived of love and affection. Its a true battle. So when love is given, my other side, Reena B., will begin the self sabotage because love is overwhelming and suffocating. So jusy read to gain better understanding. Enjoy!
Lazy lover, I am one. Not in the sense of in the bedroom. But in every other way. I don't want your trust, loyalty, or to even try to understand me. Just lay down with me and work me out like a that new workout plan. Don't ask if anyone has laid here, cause honey it's not about monogamy. Trust enough to know I wouldn't jeopardize our health but give a less care who other than you I give my attention to. I don't want commitment or you in my corner when everybody else has ran away from me. You try to attach yourself to me, I'll only disappoint you. My heart isn't in this. So yes i'm a, lazy lover. To take the time to truly get to know you, communicate with you, build a bond with you will only be done in vain. Cause I don't have the energy to build something strong and everlasting. I'll give up on you and won't tell you i'm moving on to my next victim until you become a nuisance. Just let it go. Save your time and hard work on some young lady who really wants it. Me, naw I don't want any piece of it. People pay for the bare minimum. Which is sex. You can pay for that. but trust, understanding, communication, and true love, can't buy those things. They're priceless and are the solid building blocks to a great relationship. But they also take good hard work to maintain. Hard work and energy I don't have to give. It's easier to lay with you and open up physically then to lay with you and open up mentally.
Feel like with some people I can't win. Cause I care way too much! It sucks.. Iverson (sexual)... LiteBrite (emotional)... Brian (intellectual))... Smdh! Can't be happy with him, but I love their company, alllll for different reasons. Poison of choice, I can take my pick... But really i'm tired of all this. Ready for a real relationship and affection. Someone to get to know to love Me. So u can let go of this males I've associated myself with, secretly nd publicly. They all mistreat me nd I become comfortable nd complacent with It... Ughhh I hate it!!!! But they don't know this. Because part of me is afraid to let go of these epitome of bad boys. None of them are the one! Nd i'm too young to break apart... Nd i'm too young to be lied to! Time to make room for a real man, whether that's William or not. Only time will tell nd I refuse to fall before I know i'm safe. I'm juss tired. You try to give any of them a inch nd surely they'll take a mile without me even consenting. Nd I say hey its ok this time but not again until they are walking over me again. Hmph! I'm sick of this! Time to turn a new leaf. I don't want to. But uhhh I need to! Smdh! Nd they don't even know. None of them Can say they really know me. Ugh! And they don't even care to really get to know me. To know me is to love me. But these aren't the guys I look for love in. They just keep me in the mind of being a lazy lover, and never having to give my all. I begin to become ok with that until my yearn for the real thing is overwhelming. And then, I break down. And none of them ever know.....
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