This is writing I did, back in June/July. Just how I went from being ok being the "other girl" to wanting more and knowing I deserve. And also my thoughts on the guys I indulge in these acts with.. For the longest it was same script, different cast. But now days. The cast and scripts have been remodeled and mad a lot. So enjoy my thoughts and emotions. Just might now your mind! ;-)
I'll never understand how he easily professes his love to one woman but lays in bed with another. Never understood how one day he's all in love, but the next all females are whores and sluts. I wonder how us, as people, do things that are so out of,character just for a moment of... Attention, I guess. If the love is so real, he wouldn't be in my bed, leaving behind little trinkets. Reminds oh so much of the man that makes up half of my DNA.. He loves to lay with multiple woman. Its his nature. But the way its done is wrong. Messed up a family. Fucked over all his daughters and isn't showing his son what a real man is. But selfishness was his best friend. Just like the man who has laid in my bed multiple nights. And always gets, under my skin when he begins to profess his love.. That love is bullshit! Funny thing is I dont object openly. Not my style. I hate the spotlight. I do much better in backstage. Which means, I see everything and can just watch. But still, I'm part of the show. And if it wasn't his show I was a part of it would still be the same script. Just different cast. So no, I don't fault him nor condemn him. If he knew better he would do better, right? He knows he doesn't want to share and will not put up with such treatmemt. But don't mind treating her as such. Guess she should be happy she is the main character in this play. Still she is shortchanged. And don't know what's going on. Does she have any clue? Us, as women are very intelligent, in all ways but emotionally. Which, makes me think she has no idea. Because I don't need emotion to get him erect nor to have a screaming orgasm. So it may all still be in the dark. Then I began to think, what will happen when she,finds out? I'll be auditioning for an entirely different play, by then. New script, new cast, new plot and storyline. After this production, I'll be done playing an extra and always in the,background. I think I've obtain enough expeiance to play a lifetime main chatacter. I've been apart of the crew, then a extra, then a small part, then an understudy. Now it's time for my debut as the main character and let a newbie understudy me. I won't mind. At least I'm aware of her presence and no secret is kept.
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